Finding the right therapist can be a daunting task.

You are embarking on a very personal journey and your therapist must be someone that you TRUST. It’s important to remember, there is no one size fits all. I made this guide to help you decide and find the best therapist for you.

Where to start

One place to start is by asking friends or someone you know that likes their therapist. In my experience though, the first place people look is on the almighty internet. Good Therapy or Psychology today are two good resources. A therapists website should include info about their education, location and specializations. Location is important to consider as getting to therapy should not pose unrealistic expectations on your time.

Secondly, try your best to figure out which type of therapy you think fits both your personality and the issue you are dealing with. For example, let’s say you just started a new job and they want you to fly a lot. You love everything about the new job but have a major phobia of flying. This is a very specific area of work and you may want to find someone who is more time limited in their approach and someone who is more CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) oriented.

How about dealing with perhaps deeper rooted issues? You may want to find someone who is more psychodynamic, insight-focused. Here is a link to a guide that breaks this all down: https:// www.talkspace.com/blog/2016/09/different-types-therapy-psychotherapy-best/

The next and maybe most difficult part: the phone call

Most therapists offer a free 15 min phone consultation. Some even offer an in-person session but you should be able to get a sense of your prospective therapist from a phone call. This is your time to share your background, what issue you are struggling with and ask how the therapist thinks they can help you. Is this person a good listener? Pay close attention to how you are feeling when you speak with him or her. The relationship you develop with your therapist is the most important predictor of your success in therapy.

Trusting your gut

I think this maybe the most important part of the process. Millions of nerve cells exist in the stomach, hence the term “gut instinct”. The sub-conscious part of the brain sends signals to these nerves when we are faced with big decision making. It’s essentially a full body decision. If, when you are on the phone with your new therapist, you feel at all uncomfortable or feel like you are not “clicking”, listen to that. It is an important instinct to pay attention to.

And finally, your first appointment

A skilled therapist maintains good boundaries and doesn’t talk about themselves at length. A skilled therapist also listens very closely and does not seems distracted. Lastly, you should feel more and more connected and supported as time goes on. When we are listened to and understood, our problems seem immensely more manageable.

Set up a 20-minute consult call so I can answer any questions you may have.

Michelle Cilia
Psychotherapy San Francisco
415-710-6731
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